prag • ma • tist n (1864): one who hopes for the best and expects the worst.

ro • man • tic n (1650) marked by the appeal of what is adventurous, mysterious and self-aggrandizing.

cat • a • lyst n (1902): an agent that causes significant disruption, then slips out the back door.

eth • i • cist n (ca 1890): a non-judgemental explainer of actions. Not to be confused with a moralist.

sat• i •rist n (1888): a militant humorist.

pro • pa • gan • dist n (1718): a practitioner of disseminating ideas for profit.

cap • i • ta • list n (1854): a person who, for lack of a better alternative, trusts in an economic system controlled by individual idiots rather than one controlled by an organization of idiots.

ide • a • list n (1701): an advocate for thinking that things can be better, even though they appear to stay the same.

cy • nic n (1547): one who recognizes the self-interest of others.

fool n (1548): a retainer kept in great households to provide entertainment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Essay Archive
A Random Sampling

Hallucination Engine Revisited
The Psycho-dynamic Obsolescence of General Motors

Enhanced Performance
Manny Ramirez meets the Future Farmers of America

Heaven and Earth
Thoughts on Baseball, Art, and Other Altered States

Do I Hear a Changelujah?
New Wave Progressive, Reverend Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping, asks "What Would Jesus Buy?"

American Cannibalism
Eating Ourselves for Entertainment

My Country, Your Country
Iraq at the Academy Awards

Why Yellow Isn't Green
Bioengineer Tad Patzek Shucks General Motors’ Maize Alternative

A Very Good Reason to Get Worried
Seymour Hersh's Advice: Keep Your Second Passport Alive

Eating Ingrid Newkirk
Victimless Meat at the Vegetarian Steakhouse

For the Strangers Who Were Taken In
An Alternative "National Day of Prayer" Prayer

What Do We Tell Our Children?
Harold Schechter's Savage Pastimes Versus Hillary Clinton’s Moral Outrage

The Left Bank of the World
Politics in the World of Chimpanzees and Bonobos

Engaging the National Gag Reflex
Lou Dubose on Tom DeLay & the Ghost of Terri Schiavo

CIA Mom: Master of Disguise
John Negroponte . . . meet Melissa Boyle Mahle

"I Will Fight For It."
Former FBI Wiretap Translator Sibel Edmonds' Petition to Release the Truth About the FBI and 9/11

What We Can Rub in Bush's Face
Garrison Keillor's Post-Election Strategy Version 2.0

Playing War with Boy George Bush
The Nation's Ian Williams on the Deserter in Chief and McCain's Reaction to the Anti-Kerry Swiftboat TV Spot

A Dictatorship is a Heck of a Lot Easier
Ray McGovern's 2004 Election Day Premonition

What Can We Do About Kansas?
Thomas Frank's Unanswered Heartland Question

Drafting Women
The Cult of Masculinity's Day in Court:
An Interview with Carol Burke

War and Peacenik
Memorial Day Thoughts with George McGovern

Where's the Evil?
Mahmood Mamdani’s History of Terror and the One Word Missing from Bush's Speech

The Transfixing Power of Image
Karen Kwiatkowski, Abu Ghraib and the $700 Million Misdirection

Put Down Your Guns and Pick Up A Book
A Talk with Paul Krassner on the Draft, Magic Mushrooms, Russ Kick, and Levitating the Pentagon

Bush’s Less Than Average Brain
Author James Moore on the Puppet Presidency Versus the 911 Commission

The Human Cost of War
Award-Winning Reporter Mark Benjamin on Casualties, Psychosis, and How the Pentagon May Have Screwed Up

Democracy at the Point of a Gun?
Former CIA Analyst Ray McGovern on Osama’s Delight and the Effects of Vietnam Morass Syndrome

My United States of Whatever
Politics in the New Age of Hired Guns. An Interview with P.W. Singer, author of Corporate Warriors

Nowhere, But California
With an Amended Three Strikes Initiative on the Ballot this November, California's Next Victims May be its So-called “Tough on Crime” Politicians

Empire Falls
Chalmers Johnson on Why Things That Can't Go On Forever, Don't

My Briefing with Ray McGovern
George Tenet, Iraq, Neo-Conservatives, Vietnam and 911 through the eyes of a 27-year CIA analyst

Psychoanalyzing John Ashcroft
Dissecting the current U.S. Attorney General with psychotherapist
Tina Tessina, PhD

Errol Morris’s Oscar
Thanking Robert S. McNamara and other Academy Award Scenarios

Unprecedented, Uncovered, and Unconstitutional
Robert Greenwald, director of Uncovered: The Whole Truth About the Iraq War talks about Bush, Dean, civil liberties and the final part of his "Un" Trilogy

From the Mouth of the Master of Low Expectations
George W. Bush’s Most Memorable Quotes of 2003

George Bush on Ecstasy. Scott Ritter on Caffeine.
Our President's Irrational Exuberance over Saddam in a Hole

New Age American Gothic
Cultural Creatives, Green Branding
and the Marketing of Beliefs in Suburbia

Lord of the Lumpens
"B-1" Bob Dornan is running for Congress again…
and it's time to cash in.

Reagan Remembered
It will be monumental…

Tiger and Ralph
An excerpt from “Confessions of a Cabana Boy”

Substances
American Justice in the Age of Rush and Chong

Illiterature for the Masses
Recommended Reading: The Official Voter Information Guide for the California Recall Election

Flight
A Patriot Day Perspective

Farewell, Fat Head
How Monica Lewinsky Changed My Life

Operation Prayer Offensive
With Thanks to Pat Robertson

A Benediction on the Occasion of National Flag Burning Day
It began as a day of national decontamination

The Schlomo Effect
A 50-50 Proposition

Heat is Murder
Sunscreen and serial killings

Gay Relatives
Dick Gephardt comes out

Bipolar Planet
Worldwide Manic Depression Day

Balanced Spin
Spinsanity spins a spinning Bush

Who Would Jesus Bomb?
The Captain reports

The Year of No Safe Thing
Philip Morris and the lesson of ultra lights

My Letters to George Argyros
The Secret Correspondence

Car Crash Crucifixion
The art of Register photographer Mell Kilpatrick

You Don’t Deserve This Home
Joseph Eichler’s mass-market conceit

Live Noir
Henry Ford McCracken’s 1952 Santa Ana murder trial launched the age of broadcast voyeurism

Remembering the Future of Orange County’s Great Park
Here, the sublime is accessible

A Reality Shrine for a Wired World
Coffeehouse founder Carl Diedrich's Memorial Van

Dear Mr. Fuentes
Letters to the most powerful Republican in Orange County

One Year, Two Summers
Real life in Southern California

The Big Reason
My Grandmother, the Celts and Truth in Advertising

Little Beasts
I am not myself today

   





Newkirk Nuggets™ haven’t hit the supermarket shelves yet. The tissue-engineering technology is in its infancy.

So far, the Dutch Ministry of Economic Affairs has allotted € 2 million for a four-year university research project and a scientific team at Touro College in New York City has removed chunks of live muscle tissue from freshly killed goldfish, growing them in a cell-culture fluid for a week. That experimental tissue grew by 14%.

Newkirk is impressed. But her goal is 100% Grade A victimless.

“Obviously, killing one fish to make a million fish fillets is better than killing a million or a half a million fish whose eyes pop out in the nets and who suffocate in agony on fishing fleet boat decks,” she says.

True. So, how far away are we from dining on totally victimless Halibut, Trout, Lamb, Pork, Veal or Newkirk?
— Nathan Callahan, Eating Ingrid Newkirk

       
 
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